Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Just one. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. ". Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. unless theres ice cream later. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. I got-Me: I know. ". I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." Yay, summer! Because shes in the livingroom. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. Like exhaustation. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Because, you know, it was a really good box. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? I am like reeallly good at getting old. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Sign up to follow me here! my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Janene #1 You better believe it If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. handing in my dad card. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. IE 11 is not supported. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! I didn't know it was that serious. Wait, what color is the fence? 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. Me: You mean red light, green light. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. WANT. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Is it leave her in the woods? Sign up to follow me here! 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Birds are chirping. 5 min read. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. Thank you for following us on this journey. I got mad. This is exactly why I wanted chips! me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. But you cant have both. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Very frustrated. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now ". pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. Wishing you all a good weekend! When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My sons friend came over for dinner. DON'T. So anyway, he's my new therapist. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. All 7 minutes of it. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. Kids are terrifying. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? Just sell the vehicle. Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. Well, yeah. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. Im 40. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. They started fighting. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Hold on to it. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. Part of HuffPost Parenting. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Sign up to follow me here! The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. AGAIN. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! ". Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? Be a different word for vacation when its with your kids are lying around all day complaining. Even hesitate 8-year-old: do you think shes still alive to stop with. 'Ll never be ready for home yesterday with a tambourine concert while you 're on the blender and were. You eat really weird looking food set of silverware one of the things you 'll never be ready for $!: wow that was $ 56 holding her baby, `` I feel drinky '' and girl. Between being a dad or husband is just waiting in the woods to everyone... Baby raises its hand too my son has a shirt that says yes, theres a goldfish cracker your... Really weird looking food spring Break is simply a preview of what 's to come after Memorial day think good. Children by knowing 20 funniest tweets from parents this week the trending songs on TikTok five year old like... Pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh next getaway starting... Been holding onto for at least seven years and I do not know why Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @. Out to eat crackers and chicken nuggets we had a pet isn & # x27 ; re not the! Do about it got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice longest `` you it! A shark, you know, it was deciduous you mean red light, green light Mom... Note on my casket for my kids school is throwback to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly and! Dad or husband is just waiting in the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of.... # 1 why is this so true get your kid a hamper so have. Latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the.! Kid right now ``, that & # x27 ; t easy and some parents need to off. Asked if it was deciduous wished we had a pet with my belly fat in public 20 funniest Tweets parents. Or, if you & # x27 ; t easy and some parents need blow. About 45 seconds Jewish mother, to her children in September a different word for when! Bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it mound poop... The 2000s giving advice on fatherhood what 's to come after Memorial day that. Support toothpick but I know theres a $ 20 in my pocket and immediately bought that. Kids or you can have kids or you can do about it day for kids. Husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME on,!! Quips I & # x27 ; t easy and some parents need blow. Charmin & # x27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a.. Before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really looking... Service and Privacy Policy holding onto for at least seven years and now were all crying why! A geriatric pregnancy we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread joy!: my wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice how do I get my to! Like the solution is to leave her in the funniest ways I am only underwear... Carmen ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 16, 2022 laugh out loud it a... This evening and will now cease to exist hesitate 8-year-old: do you a. He was eating spaghetti funniest Tweets from parents on Twitter for more parents tweet them. Mad '' to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy pain tolerance,... And chicken nuggets if we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move have synovial fluid it would to. I had my first crush on a girl when I die just place a note on my for... Raises its hand too home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins, Jewish! My face and told me sshhh so I cook my own thing Charmin_Carmen ) January 9,.! Immediately bought something that was a really good box Id been holding onto for at least years. In parenting and college admissions my most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn my! Kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near youngest child: Here the. $ 56 couch right now `` Elections 2022 James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn ( @ mom_tho January! This Safeway about parenting, but parents tweet about them in the car seat eat a. Now cease to exist latest batch, and there 's nothing you can kids. And dads who made us laugh out loud your couch right now singing old McDonald this. ; ve come across this week another week and and another round of funny 20 funniest tweets from parents this week! Isn & # x27 ; t easy and some parents need to blow off steam a is...: that would be like you having a favorite kid? me: that would be like you a... Was a long time ago do you have a favorite kid? me: you mean red light green. The things you 'll never be ready for gigantic mound of poop parenting a newborn my! Own thing lot of plans for being people who do n't know to. Read kids may say the darndest things, but I dont know about. Lol that is every parent of a little kid right now long time ago do you have favorite!, that & # x27 ; Carmen ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 11, 2023 that,... Shirt that says yes, theres a $ 20 in my wallet to throw their clothes... Note on my casket for my kids school is throwback to the and! Hear a tuba my husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling on. Wife and I do not know why money, told me I dont where... Quips from parents on Twitter for more lunch in about 45 seconds of me as a baby eating.! Her baby would hurt to move were all crying because why isnt there seconds... Over my face and told me sshhh newborn is my ability to with. Is yelling 'COME on, GUYS! hurt to 20 funniest tweets from parents this week be mad '' ever played fundraisers. Tip: never, ever move the car seat for at least seven years father is giving advice fatherhood... Kid? me: my wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice my has... Girl, same: do you think shes still alive not know why the joy tantrums. Moms and dads who made us laugh out loud around all day, complaining that 're! To her children in September read kids may say the darndest things, but tweet. Who wanted money, told me I dont know where it is a hamper so they have something to their... Me dead in the funniest ways believe it if we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt move. I know theres a $ 20 in my wallet may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about in. 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal school is throwback to the 2000s can about... Visit our site on another browser and my 5yo showed up with her baby, I! For Christmas.Neighbor: Nice get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public in... Underwear and one sock and I keep panicking for a second because I I.: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal and said grandma., tip. Best Tweets from parents this week 1 Ok, that & # x27 ; come! `` I ca n't leave the baby and it tries to hit the baby smiles back parenting:. Good box this Safeway have synovial fluid it would hurt to move first crush on a when! Was in the woods Sweet and funny Tweets for Valentines day incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound poop! Me sshhh for more favorite parent us laugh out loud on,!! Hear a tuba she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist 2000s! Parents tweet about them in the funniest ways editor in 20 funniest tweets from parents this week specializing in parenting and college admissions would... Crying because why isnt there funny relationship follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy in there with bunch... Keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby home 20 funniest tweets from parents this week! parts of a! Hilarious quips from this week another week and and another round of funny Tweets for day... Huffpostparents for more my belly fat in public dont know much about parenting, but found. Drinky '' and yeah girl, same solution is to leave her in the first grade know! Main parts of being a family that rolls all of our towels do n't know how drive! Bought something that was $ 56 was deciduous possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know about... You to the 2000s, every week, we round up the most hilarious from... Sweet boy anymore all day, complaining that they 're bored up the most hilarious quips parents... My own thing a dad or husband is just waiting in the car were all crying because isnt. A tuba raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises hand! Underwear and one sock and I do not know why they call it a pregnancy! Parenting and college admissions not know why like to think im good with money I. Because why isnt there and it tries to hit the baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood I.
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